My Heart's Desire

That's an appropriate title for a February 1st post...don't you think? But, I have another reason...because today is Marie's 30th birthday. Happy Birthday Ri!!

I could not let this day pass without a bit of reminiscing of the day Margaret Marie (aka Maggie Marie, Margo, or Ri :) was born, as well as the days leading up to it, because...you see, little Marie was my heart's desire. After a very difficult pregnancy with Casey and Jerry, their premature birth and health struggles when they were toddlers.....it was a risky move to get pregnant again. But we wanted....hoped for....prayed for a little girl.

Oh yes, another healthy BOY would have been wonderful too....but a girl....well, I wouldn't let myself dream of it for fear of disappointment. I would certainly LOVE another boy, but a daughter, well, that would be a 'gift' indeed.

As my pregnancy progressed, all seemed well. I felt good despite the awful morning/all day sickness I always endured for the entire pregnancy...it wasn't quite as bad the second time.....and so when Les needed foot surgery, we didn't put it off. I would manage....7 months pregnant, two toddlers, and a hubby on crutches. No sweat :)

I had a Dr's appointment so I left the boys napping in bed, Les in his recliner, and headed off to Modesto. Just the usual pregnancy check. I sat on the examining table and had my blood pressure taken. No comment from the nurse. My Dr. entered and after greeting me, said that I needed to head right on over to the hospital. What? No!! Why??? Your blood pressure is off the charts and I'm calling you an ambulance. We'll call your husband and he can meet you there. NO!! this can't be happening again! My baby...it's only 7 months....I went thru this before....no Lord please..... I sat on that exam table and cried, and cried, and cried....literally. The Dr. came in twice to see if I was ready to leave and each time I said no. My mind was whirling...I drove here, Les can't drive, who will watch the boys? I can't go in an ambulance.....no no no. Unbelieveably, I convinced the Dr. to let me drive home. I was to be back at Modesto City Hospital in an hour. It was January 31, 1981 and my actual due date was April 1st.

I was admitted, blood tests, and amniocentesis to determine baby's actual age/size and lung developement, then steroids to make the baby's lungs grow fast....24 hrs. was all we had. The amnio could have told us the sex of our baby, but we said no......I couldn't bear knowing yet. We prepared ourselves for the worst, and hoped for the best. We trusted God KNEW....we didn't understand why we had to go thru this yet again, but still we trusted.

My doctor came in and explained I would need to be transported to Sacramento and a larger hospital where they could handle "at risk" deliveries......like mine would be......my baby. Would my baby live...would I? Trust...that 's all we could do. God KNOWS...He knows....

February 1, 1981 @ 7am the petosin drip is started to induce labor. It's grueling labor...HARD...from the first contraction to the last. It shouldn't be happening this way. I'm utterly exhausted from 12 hrs. labor. My doctor decides "nothing's happening soon" and heads home for dinner. His intern takes watch over me. She is kind and tells me her parents are Drs in Ripon. Ripon? How can that be? They were missionaries before....I know them! Are you a believer? she asks. I nod, as I can't work up the energy to speak. She asks if she can pray with me then.....I'm crying again. Yes! yes please. I can't remember what she said, but it comforted me. Three contractions later, this intern, who I'm sure God placed in my room, delivered our sweet Marie. "It's a girl!!" Really? really really really? Are you sure??? And then I saw her. It was true! We have a girl..... a girl. I can't believe it.

This was our family now, and we had our girl. There wouldn't be any more babies....

We named her after one of the finest women I've ever known.....Les' grandma, Maggie Haveman. Maggie was strong, kind, and sweet, though not sickeningly so. She was practical and had a ready smile and sharp wit. She was a good cook too, and liked to knit. All but for the knitting part :) I believe Marie lives up to her namesake quite remarkably. We are proud to call her daughter, and on that day 30 years ago, I thank God that He saw fit to bless me with "my heart's desire". Love you Ri!